Have there been times in your life when you found yourself on unfamiliar terrain? When all you could do was come to a stop or soldier on without a roadmap? When fear, numbness, and confusion reigned? Sounds a lot like 2020.
I remember when in my early thirties I was separated from my husband, raising my 3-year-old daughter, and caring for my parents during what turned out to be the last months of their lives. There was so much change and loss happening simultaneously, it felt like a tsunami. Somehow I came through. It's funny how the psyche and the nervous system know exactly what to do during times like that. Either your system breaks down or becomes well defended enough to move through the storm.
The sorting of what happened comes later. In the aftermath. People often come to see me for therapy after the big waves have receded. When the damage becomes more apparent. You may feel stuck in really uncomfortable emotions, moods, and behaviors. You may be getting feedback from friends or family that perhaps you need help.
I think fondly of the therapists I've had at different stages of my life. To have a trusted witness to your suffering and your inner world, one who is able to guide and explore with you is a great gift, often life changing. It doesn't have to be a tsunami that brings you to therapy. Growing, changing and raising the bar in any area of your life can be fun, scarey and exhilerating. Good therapy includes encouragement and coaching, and humor.
I hope in this New Year that we can all get on our feet, find high quality emotions and go after what is most important to us. May we all find purpose and belonging and fulfill the desires that nourish ourselves and others.